Wednesday, October 22, 2008

what just happened (& mixed metaphors)

You may notice, (all three of you), that the archives are gone.

It isn't an accident. I loved being here in this space for a good couple of years until a few roadbumps threw me rather far afield. Pregnancy, for one. Pregnancy being shorthand for "panic, constant nausea, a desperate need for sleep at all hours, and waffle cravings, not to mention a sudden desire for more privacy." So, there was that, and then there was a beautiful angel baby all pink and wide-eyed and rather demanding, and then there was another - and worst yet - bout of depression. It's been... hmmm. It's been a lot to adjust to.

I should have taken the opportunity to write more. Record every new moment, every blessing, every stupid piece of advice, and every desperate requirement for pudding of any kind (no, not pudding - yuck! - CHEETOS). I didn't. Instead, when I found myself sitting in playgroup with the mommy who was bragging about potty training her six-month-old ("Noooo, we don't call them 'accidents!' We call them 'misses.'"), I thought, "Oh my Lord what an idiot this would make the funniest blog post" and then I went home and cleaned up an exploded poopy diaper and found out my baby girl had her first full-blown ear infections and geez louise did the cat get sick again?

Or something like that.

There were so many times I came by to write and just couldn't do it. For some reason the space here felt surprisingly confining. Ill-fitting. Maybe I outgrew it along with my jeans. And I thought once things settled down a bit I'd just pop right back in, but like my pre-maternity jeans, it just didn't seem to fit the same way.

As you can see, though, I didn't want to leave altogether. And so, instead of committing the cardinal blogging sin of ditching this blog in favor of a new one, I've committed what I hope is only the PENULTIMATE blogging sin of removing all the archives and sprucing up the site. Just a little. You didn't even notice until I mentioned it, did you? I didn't think so.

At least I feel better about it. The archives are now someplace safe where they will only be accessed again if I ever need to blackmail myself. (Yes they are THAT retarded.) And I'm here, and ready to write again. Now you know.

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