Monday, November 17, 2008

today is

listening to the radio instead of the television
(bye bye elmo & matt lauer, hello patty griffin)
having a grapefruit for breakfast instead of peanut butter honey toast
(really needing to stick to a diet, for once)
enjoying the cool morning air and the sight of green grass through the front door
(after being shut inside all yesterday, due to ash)

ignoring air quality alerts for just maybe one more hour
loving the quiet, the air, the light
wondering where two lost baby bottles are lurking, all milky...
looking for any excuse to skip the gym today
(and not finding one)
needing to draw.
missing my family
feeling a little lost again
knowing how to fix it

making the attempt, again.

Friday, November 7, 2008

fresh air

After a walk to the post office and the bank, a stop at the park is well-deserved!


Sure, the election is over, and my man won (in such a big way), but I am still feeling oh so drained from a week of politicking with friends & family.

I wish I could explain how hard it is, defending your choices and your faith to people who should know you best. But I am too tired. If you've been through it yourself, you know.

And so I've been floating through this week on the edge of elation and failure, hope renewed and the dark end of the road. I know too well that it is better to stay out of the discussion with some people, but emotions get so high around election time, and I always think I've found a better, kinder, more accessible way to explain myself. And in the end I feel like I've gone back to an abusive boyfriend, although there's nobody to blame but myself, I guess.

pffft. Drama, drama, drama, huh?

Doing my best to put it all behind me. It is warm and clear and skies are blue blue on the westside today, and as soon as my beautiful baby girl wakes up we are going to walk over crunchy leaves down to the post office and the bank. We will wear t-shirts and sandals and think about the lucky folks who woke up to snow this morning! (feeling equally lucky ourselves.) We both need fresh air. Maybe we all need fresh air.

Thank goodness it's time for a weekend.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


At last - I am so excited - my moop market bag arrived today! It's like a little post-election celebration present!

I've been looking and looking for a pretty, all-season, go-with-everything bag that could double as a laptop meet-with-clients bag or a diaper+bottles+extra-Lena-outfit (read: the ultimate, PERFECT) bag, and I think I've found it at moop. (Thank you, Etsy!)

It took a couple of weeks to arrive, but I believe that's because they were busy making it just for me. It's gorgeous, soft, sturdy, has big pockets inside that can hold bottles and power supplies, and completely beats out both my black (albeit very useful for a newborn) Skip Hop diaper bag as well as my black nylon (durable and free) Technicolor swag laptop case.

(image from moop)

(image from moop)

Jimmy, I'm sorry I beat you to a Christmas present. You'll just have to find something else, I think...

so happy, so proud

President Barack Obama - it just feels so good to say.

...can't wait for January.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

a little monkey, a little democracy

We skipped town Friday night to surprise Lena's grammie and great-grandparents with her trick-or-treating little monkey self, with the added bonus of vegging in their sleepy seaside town on Saturday and Sunday. They live up in Morro Bay where the big news right now is the new traffic circle under construction by Hwy 1. It was a lovely visit, and I broke my no-drinking no-sweets rule to celebrate. (Sit me down on an afternoon off with the Sunday crossword, a view of the Pacific, and a glass of port, and tell me not to indulge. Go ahead and try!)

Too bad that after all that relaxing I came back to emails and Facebook notes from friends and family hyped up about the election. - the election, and, more specifically, the fact that I no longer vote the way they do.

I have ZERO desire to get into it here, after I've now explained myself in writing a minimum of eight times in the last 36 hours, but I am a Christian democrat who was raised to belief that such a thing was a logistical impossibility. Let me tell you what a not fun position it is to be in.

So I am tired, and disappointed, and a little hurt, but it has not been all bad. I had one family member and two friends really, you know, reach across the aisle the last couple of days, and I tried to let them know how much that meant (and means!) to me.

And early this morning we walked in the cool waking sunshine along still-wet leaf-covered sidewalks to our neighborhood polling place, and I cannot fully express how exciting it was to mark that little dot next to Obama's name. I actually got a thrill, and left feeling so proud. Now Lena is prancing around the house in her "That One '08" t-shirt and "I Voted!" sticker to keep me encouraged. We've watched, researched, prayed, and done what we felt was right. We tried to mend fences with family. And now we're waiting and seeing.

Please vote today, for whomever you choose. Please be kind to your friends and family who disagree with you. Because this is how America works.