Monday, March 30, 2009

We had such a nice weekend. At least, I did. That is, I had such a nice weekend after my small Saturday afternoon anxiety attack over toddler bathing suits in the middle of Old Navy and Jimmy had to cart us all home just so he could kick me out of the house for the rest of the day. Alone. With no toddler attached. And no ginormous diaper bag. Or any need for a stroller.

And then oh my gosh did the weekend improve.

In my defense, we hit Old Navy after a morning 2-year-old's birthday party at a big playground. And it was unseasonably hot, during Lena's naptime, and did I mention full of toddlers? Lena refused to eat, or drink, or sit for one second unless that second included throwing everything on her plate and her neighbor's plate into the grass, or jamming her fork into a pb&j triangle and waving it around in hopes of flinging it directly into a grown-up's face. And for some reason I think I'm going to be using this brand of excuse for the next three years.

Getting out was nice.

Getting out was very nice, even though I had no idea what to do.

(The mall seemed like a safe bet.)

But standing in the middle of all that marble and chrome and glass, trying to navigate globs of preteens without a stroller in front of me, no arsenal of sippies, bottles, crackers, diapers, and wipes at hand, being able to look at a rack of clothes without worrying that someone was simultaneously trying to yank the tshirts off the shelving behind me or throw a bottle at the nearest stranger or wriggle out the bottom of her stroller (only to get her head stuck under the snack tray, because YES it has happened before and IN THE APPLE STORE)... It just didn't feel right.

So there I was, feeling like I was shopping COMPLETELY NAKED and that everyone was staring at me and wondering why I was there without my third (very cute but very active) arm and I had to check my purse to make sure everything I needed was in it, like, eight times because it felt so freaking LIGHT, and what did I accomplish? I bought the baby a dress, I bought the baby a pair of tennies, and I bought the baby a book.

This is what my "me time" is like, now. And I came home sooner than I needed to, too, because my arms felt so completely, utterly empty.

Can you blame me?

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