We had a lovely, unscheduled weekend which somehow in spite of its unscheduled-ness was also very busy and exhausting. But good. Definitely lovely. Promising, even. But it is over now and here we are in a Monday morning already and I don't know about you but I have a heap of work to do. Email-y, budget-y, research-y, photo-edit-y work to do. Exciting times ahead. Everybody say yay.
I am eager to get through it all, though, if for no other reason than to get these tasks off my plate. Because, as I said last week, I have a million other thoughts jumbling around in my head, and they are begging for attention. And the little things I bump into as I fumble through my morning are not helping.
Such as finally reading an article from ZenHabits that I've had sitting open for weeks, Finding Peace With Uncertainty, about making changes in your life, opening doors, why we're afraid to do it, and how to overcome those fears:
See the wonder and opportunity in change. Change might mean leaving a comfort zone, and losing something (or someone) you love, but there’s much more: it’s the bringing of something new and amazing, a new opportunity to explore and learn and meet new people and reinvent yourself. When change happens, look for the wonder in it, the new doors that have opened.
Such as checking out the blog of one of my favorite Instagrammers, Oh Robin May, and finding this:
Oh darlings... I hope you are waking up each morning and knowing that YOU get to choose the life that you'll live that day. Be brave and do the things that make you light up and shine brightly.
Be brave. Be brave. Be brave. Be brave.
Such as opening up facebook and practically being smacked in the face with this (via Andi Cumbo, via Shawn Smucker):
But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.
- Francis Chan
Everywhere I turn I seem to find the message to move, to let go of fear and go forward into the unknown, and I can't tell you how much I want to do that. But as I am perpetually the artist without a muse, the musician who requires sheet music, the writer with no story, I could not even begin to tell you where I'm wanting to go. Sometimes I see the destination in my mind, but the path to get there is absolutely obscured. And it's not just today. I've been idling at the green light for so long, now.
I'd like to have some quiet time to focus on this:
...most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Or, I don't know, maybe I'm not idling. Maybe I am moving forward slowly in a heavy fog because that is as fast as things should go right now. Because that is how it feels to be here, to write here. It feels like this is where I should be, although I can't find any legitimate reasons why. So I will keep on until the path changes, the road closes, or until the fog is broken by a warming light and I can see at last that it has been the right way all along.