On my phone I keep a list of topics I want to write about here, and usually that list is only two or three items long. Generally speaking, I write what I'm feeling in the moment, most often not even knowing what that is until I stare at the computer screen for ten or twenty minutes.
Right now the list is ten deep, though, at least, and growing. Because it is January, a new year, a clean slate in more ways than one for me because my birthday is in January (next week!). Shoot, it's next week. And, unfortunately, this year it's a birthday that will knock me into the next age bracket on surveys and business forms. Also, I think I'm going gray. And suddenly I am compelled to go crawl back in bed and hide under the covers. uggghhhh.
Um, so sorry. Hey, happy thoughts....I meant to say, I have so many ideas for this year!
Ideas such as Showing Up, which is why we bundled up the kids on Saturday morning and took them to our favorite beach playground, coffee and warm croissants in hand. It was wonderful. The sun came out, the girls played, and Jimmy and I soaked it in - the beach, the people, the happy kids. While Evie chased birds and dug in the sand, Lena had her first real opportunity to ride her bike with no worries of street traffic, and that kid took off with streamers flying and training wheels wobbling madly. I followed on foot, but she was free and happy and going going gone, and didn't bother to look back for me for so long, even after she was well out of earshot and only barely in my sight. Although I wasn't too worried, I guess I had some sort of universal mommy look about me because strangers walking the other way would grin at me as they passed and comment on how happy she looked on that bike, huge smile, no cares at all. When she finally stopped to see me waving her back to me, she turned around and rode up breathlessly saying, "Mama, I want to follow the path all the way to the end!!"
Maybe, when she gets older, we can do that. It's only 8.5 miles, after all, right? Right. Which is why I pulled my bike out of the garage that afternoon just before sunset and practiced riding without breaking my neck, coasting all around our little neighborhood under a pink sky. I came close a few times, to breaking my neck that is. But, wow. Just wow. I forgot how good it was to have a cool wind on my face and no destination but home, eventually. I get it, Lena. I want to keep going, too. All the way to the end.
(And maybe even on past than that.)
So far, so good. Let's keep it up, 2013.